Dana White Ufc

Mixed Martial Arts from A to Z: An Idiot's Guide to the Fight Game

Mixed martial arts is everywhere, there’s absolutely no way to escape it.  Chances are someone at work will find out that you’re a fan and ask if Anderson Silva would have a chance against Bruce Lee.  Maybe your girlfriend is confused by what’s going on, yet finds GSP “really hot.”  You’re probably really frustrated that you have to explain all this to the uninitiated.  So for your sanity I’ve put this simple guide together to help you and yours understand this crazy sport.

A-    Is by far the sexiest letter in the MMA alphabet.  It belongs to A rianny Celeste and Yoshihiro A kiyama.  Arianny is the uber-hot Octagon girl whose Playboy issue you have hidden in your sock drawer.  Daddy likey.  Despite a 1-2 record in the Octagon, Akiyama is still a man you wouldn’t leave your girlfriend alone with.  That’s why they call him Sexyama.

B-    Stands for B rock Lesnar – ex pro-wrestler and trash talking former UFC heavyweight champion.  He’s the biggest pay-per-view draw in the company yet his intestines have turned on him and put him out of commission.  B is also for B isping.  Michael “The Count” Bisping is the UFC’s biggest British drawing card and a total tosser.  That’s British for wanker.

C-    Is for C hael Sonnen, the sport’s biggest irritant.  If you’re having a bad day ask yourself,  “did I squander an easy UFC middleweight title win in the final minutes of the fight?”  You didn’t?  That’s because you’re not Chael.  So cheer up.  It also stands for C ain, as in Velasquez-the baddest heavyweight alive, and for C yborg (Evangelista and Cris), the first couple of MMA and the ideal candidates for a couples date.

D-    “Do you want to be a f*cking fighter?”  By speaking those words a former cardio boxing instructor and junior college dropout named D ana White took the reins of the UFC and built it into a multi-million dollar organization. D is also for the D iaz brothers– Nate and Nick, who have taken slap boxing and trash talking in the cage to new heights.  Don’t be scared, homie.

E-    Is a letter for champions.

Justin Bieber Tweet Causes UFC President Dana White's BlackBerry ...

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